On 6th June 2003, 9:01pm I sent myself this message (via True African):
“Over six months I have called this place home. And so it ends. The future beckons. Shall we proceed? Afterall, it is only destiny”.
I was 20 years old, and I had just quit my second and last formal job. I made the very risky decision to jump into self-employment without any sort of plan.
It’s been close to two decades of self-employment and entrepreneurship, with lots of trial & error, tons of mistakes and some polite success.
But the question that keeps coming back to me is: would I do it again?
A lot of people will quickly say they would do it again in a heartbeat.
Me? I’m not sure.
Obviously, each choice we make creates a divergence in our lives and in thousands of lives within the tapestry that surrounds us. We set into motion things, actions and journeys that are intertwined and irreversible.
The person I am today is the result of the choice I made when I quit my job, and no amount of hindsight will rationalize destiny.
In the eternally wise words of Master Ugwe, “One most often meets one’s destiny on the road one takes to avoid it.”
Paths diverge, trajectories and lives change and we make our peace.
On one hand, every single person I’ve employed, every client whose business was transformed (by any of the companies I’ve started), every child Fundi Bots has reached and every friend I made along that path… all of them were outcomes of that one inflexion point.
On the other hand, if I had stayed, I likely would’ve maintained and grown a career in web development, or decided to continue with school because of family pressure.
I’d probably be married by now (I can almost see the usual suspects commenting).
Maybe I wouldn’t have been as broke as I have been for the last 17 years.
So, there’s a psychological burden that choices like this bring, and one that many of us struggle with. Oftentimes, it manifests as regret, anger or longing for something that could have worked out a certain way, even though we have no guarantee of that fact.
And those regrets then transform into fear and uncertainty, and in extreme cases, an inability to make decisions that are perceived as too extreme.
The what-if questions overwhelm us into comfort-zones and inaction, and one-in-a-lifetime opportunities are missed because of our fear.
This becomes even more complex when we have people depending and counting on us to lead and to provide.
When you have families, teams and communities that look up to you each day for wisdom, guidance and leadership, the burden is multiplied because you must make GOOD decisions.
I choose – as much as I can – not to linger on regret because I believe that each choice I make is made on the assumption that it is the best choice, made with the best intentions.
And that only time can tell you whether you are right or wrong.
I don’t know what you’re struggling with right now, and I don’t know what that big decision is, but I sincerely hope that you can find clarity in the now and hope in the future.
I hope that you lean on the past simply as a reference point, and not as a tether or anchor holding you back.
We cannot predict tomorrow – for that is kismet, outside of our control – but we can plot the best course given the tools, knowledge and experience we have NOW.
And I pray, above all that you can learn to be at peace with the decision you make, no matter how it turns out.
As always, onwards. And upwards.
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