It takes a very, very long time to truly become yourself.
I heard this somewhere… I think from Dave Chapelle or Miles Davis, I’m not sure. But it stayed with me, and I have thought about it a lot. And today, as I turn one year older, it’s led me to a lot of reflections on this complex life I’ve had.
[Sometimes, the weariness of it all makes me feel like I’ve lived a hundred years].
For many years, I struggled to be someone else. I aspired to be like many of my heroes, the ones I idolized, some with their genius, their grit and their passion for changing the world. Others with their hubris and egos that ultimately led to their downfall.
I read all the books there were to read, and I watched videos and series and business reality shows endlessly. I tried lots of things and failed at almost all of them. Some worked, some were shelved and others took on a life of their own.
But then, over time, I realized that I had become… me. And for the first time, I was proud of who I was.
I think it was the intentionality of learning from the past. The deep reflection on what went wrong, what could have been done better and what definitely needed to go. It forced me to constantly self-evaluate and reflect on the choices and decisions. I learned to map the inflexion points where the failure started and ensure it shouldn’t happen again.
But I still struggled with purpose. I knew what I wanted to do, what I wanted to achieve, but there was still this emptiness. An emptiness that echoed in my very being; a deep, resounding question that wouldn’t go away.
“BUT WHY?”, the emptiness asked.
And one day, it hit me: I wanted to achieve all these things because at the end of the day, all I wanted was to help people live better lives. I wanted money so I could pay fees for someone or help someone else start a business or build a school or hospital for a community. And I still struggle justifying my own personal financial growth/gain versus the needs of humanity as a whole (in as much as I can impact a small fraction of humanity). It is a weakness that I have a love-hate relationship with.
They say becoming a millionaire is less about earning a million dollars, and more about the person you become along that journey. My journey has morphed from the pursuit of just money, to the pursuit of a better world for our children and their children’s children.
But I’ve also found that my deeper passion is helping other people achieve their goals, and watching their dreams come to life. It’s in building communities, raising people and creating solutions that move humanity forward.
Is it uselessly altruistic? Maybe. Will I succeed? Maybe. Am I the right people? Who knows. I am hopelessly and irrevocably flawed and failure is something I’ve made peace with. Fear will always be with us. Humanity is flawed, and the world is chaos.
We make plans, we have dreams and we justify our decisions and our actions with the stubborn subjectivity and selfishness that only humans are capable of.
But what matters more than anything else is that we move forward, together, and that we strive to create a world that has empathy, equity and respect for everyone, regardless of who they are, where they come from and what they look like.
So yeah, here we are, a year older. Questionably wiser. And about to take a daft step.
So, my biggest challenge to myself is to go extreme, to step so far outside my comfort zone that the mere thought of the thing I want to do still sends panic down my spine. But, here we go:
I’m starting a YouTube Channel.
I, Solomon King, introvert, hater-of-photos, refuser-of-interviews, selfie-snob, stammerer and God-knows-what else… am starting a YouTube Channel.
I know all you extroverts are rolling your eyes, but just typing this is giving me anxiety. 🤣 But, we move.
You can subscribe here https://youtube.com/c/SolomonKing
Right now, there’s nothing there, just a few random audio tracks I made last year.
What’s going to be on that channel? A little craziness, but mostly genuine, honest discussions with people about life, business, failure and the struggle for success. Raw, down-to-earth and personal conversations. Like talking to your father when he’s had too much whiskey.
We’ll talk about the tough things, the long journeys, the truth about what it actually means to make it (or to fail). Generally, we’ll discuss the side of life that people gloss over or hide in their attempts to paint perfect lives of unceasing success.
What won’t be there? Random stories of how “I started a business with two pineapples and now I own half of Kampala”. We’ll talk to people like you are I who are thriving, hustling, or figuring out what went wrong.
Basically, “omuntu wa wansi” trying to make the world better.
It takes a very, very long time to truly become yourself.
Maybe, in my own way, I can use my network, connections and experiences to help people out there discover their true selves and finally become who are meant to be.
If not, we shall fail together.
Onwards and upwards!